How do I describe what happened? If my memory serves me correctly, some friend from LinkedIn lured me over to Facebook. Facebook actively encourages members to invite friends in, and to link them with other friends who are already a part of the network. It also uses data management technology to make suggestions of people you may know, based on entries in your profile. Almost as soon as I filled in my profile, I received suggestions of people I might know who went to my high school, college and grad school around the same time I did. I instantly had 20 friends in my network. They were excited to reconnect with me, but gave me my space and time to get oriented and participate in the community at my own pace. Before I knew it, I was reconnected to 60+ friends whom I had adored in another life, just never kept up with as life took us each in different directions.
I received emails from Facebook when people posted comments on my wall, and when I logged in, I could see at a glance whenever someone added new pics, comments on others' updates, or updated their "status". It took me a minute to step out there with my "status". Once I did, I felt an odd connection; as if I was answering the question, "how are you doing?", and I could safely assume that my friends really did want to know. A comment like, "feeling tired, but pressing on..." might prompt an empathetic, "I feel you sista," or simply, "me too." It was really cool to see the long list of happy birthday wishes (prompted by reminders from Facebook) among friends. I learned a little of the whole Facebook universe at a time, and focused on my favorite features. I learned to squeeze in 15 minutes between the end and start of work projects, or between seeing the kids to sleep and packing lunches. I learned it was much less cumbersome than finding the right time to call one of 15 people in the course of a week, and worrying about either of us being cut short by other people and obligations.
My favorite feature, and oddly the one that leaves me the least exposed, but others much more so is watching for updated pics. I see the new babies, birthday parties, outdoor adventures, vacations, boyfriends, girlfriends, and spouses in frozen-activity poses. But after you see enough slightly compromising pics (in PJs, dirty dishes/clothes in the background, crazy faces), you realize you really are among friends.
And it's pretty cool to sorta be there, even if virtually. I do realize that I run the risk of getting too complacent with my virtual participation. But while I have 25 hours of things to do in 24 hours, I can maintain some connection with people whose lives I would otherwise miss for decades or forever. Perhaps some of those interactions may inspire connections that move from virtual, to a phone call, to coffee, and later to dinner with the family. This could be a good thing.
